


Don't Steal Sam's Food

by Scotland_Axel (orphan_account)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 16:28:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13662834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Scotland_Axel
Summary: “Are there ever times you two aren’t oozing with love for each other?” Nat asks, out of the blue.“I mean Sam’s grumpy in the mornings, and when he’s hungry, but it’s still really cute.”“I could kill Steve when he tries to steal my food.”





	Don't Steal Sam's Food

**Author's Note:**

> okay so the jokes about a "slapping hand" just comes from me having a hand that is slap happy. like i have to actively hold back a reaction to slap someone if they say something stupid/offensive/mean. It's not at all meant to be an abuse joke because I would never joke about that.

“Are there ever times you two aren’t  _ oozing _ with love for each other?” Nat asks, out of the blue.

Sam turns away from Steve to look at her but before he can answer Clint says, “Yes, it’s disgusting.”

Steve shrugs, “I mean Sam’s grumpy in the mornings, and when he’s hungry, but it’s still really cute.” 

“I could kill Steve when he tries to steal my food.” Sam answers. 

Steve gasps, obviously offended as their friends laugh. 

“I always thought you were joking.” He says. 

Sam scoffs, “Yeah, I’d never  _ actually _ kill you, but I’ve had to hold my slapping hand back so many times when your hand moves to my plate. And from that one time we never speak of you know how hard I slap.” 

Fear flashes in Steve’s eyes at the mere mention of it but Natasha ‘oohs’ excitedly. 

“‘The one time we never speak of?’ That sounds like a  _ great  _ story.” She says, smirking.

“One you’ll never hear.” Sam answers.

Clint asks, “But Steve’s a supersoldier, shouldn’t he be immune to the “power” of your slap?” 

Steve shakes his head and Sam repeats what’s he said before, “I slap like my momma, I slap like a black woman. No supersoldier serum is going to protect  _ anyone _ from the fierce wrath of a black woman.”

No one says anything after that, and no one tries to refute it. 

Clint breaks the silence by saying, “...you should probably stop stealing Sam’s food, Steve.” 

 

**Author's Note:**

> And the thing Sam and Steve never speak of is the time Steve snuck up on Sam without meaning to and Sam just slapped him silly. He felt really guilty about it and that's why they don't talk about it. I'll probably write that next tbh


End file.
